It seems like every other day, I’m walking a thin line when making an on the spot decision about trusting or not trusting. I’m of the trust but verify school, so usually I start from a position of trust and let the relationship build from that point. My gut instincts have served me very well, especially when it comes to building working relationships with people and companies. OK, you’re asking, what does this have to do with exercise and walking? Nothing the article is just a good read.
Here are a few excerpts from the article appearing at CNN by Martha Beck at Oprah.com which looks at the art of trusting, reading people and building working relationships in “Use Trust-o-Meter to Find Dependable People.”
It’s because I’ve learned to depend on a handy little inner mechanism — you’ve got one too. Call it a “trust-o-meter,” a bit of hardware preinstalled on your hard drive the day you arrived, tiny and vulnerable, from the stork factory.
Ever since, your trust-o-meter has been programmed up the wazoo, first by caregivers, then by you yourself. If your inner software is working well, your trust-o-meter is guiding you safely through life’s many hazards. If it isn’t, you smash into one disappointment or betrayal after another.
The good news is that no matter how faulty your trust-o-meter, it’s never too late to debug the system. Trust me on that.
Step 1: Testing the system
“As soon as you trust yourself,” wrote Goethe, “you will know how to live.”
To discern between people who might save your life and those who might ruin it, you must be reliable, honest — in a word, trustworthy — toward yourself. And we do this far less often than most people realize.
Step 2: The scientific method
All child-rearers — myself among them — are confused, mistaken, or ignorant about some things, so don’t waste time insisting that your parents fix every glitch in your programming.
Just start using the scientific method to reboot your trust-o-meter. This involves three basic steps: making predictions about how the world works, looking for evidence to either support or disconfirm those predictions, and changing your hypotheses in light of what you see to be true.
Step 3: Learning to trust everyone and everything
So what does it mean to “trust people who aren’t trustworthy”? I pondered this earlier today, as I watched the lions devour the buffalo, the leopard attack the impala, the baboons stealing breakfast.
I am very wary of these beasts, but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust them. I depend on them deeply — to do what they usually do. Lions and leopards can be trusted to eat animals about my size. Baboons can be trusted to steal food whenever possible. Because I know this, I adapt my behavior to avoid getting eaten or pilfered.
I feel that most people are good and want to do goods things, BUT, I’m also a realist and I take the time to closely look at each situation and make my judgment. I always look for signs that lead me to investigate situations further when my meter gives me that funny reading.
MikeZ_walking the thin line of trust and non-trust.
Please consult your physician before starting any exercise or weight loss program. Your physician is your very best resource.
